On a blog post a few years ago, I posted about how I wasn’t a fan of change. Now a few years later, that’s still true to an extent. Positive change and growth should always be something that we strive to do. If we’re not changing and growing then we are stagnate, perhaps even stuck in the past. However, this kind of change is not one that I’ve struggled with. I’m talking about the change that forces its way into your life, sometimes leaving chaos and grief in its wake.
It’s crazy to me that in just two months, we will be reaching the one year anniversary of my son’s Leukemia diagnoses. December 29th will always be etched in my mind as the day that my whole world turned upside down. I wasn’t ready for that wrecking ball, but when you are discussing childhood cancer, who is? Looking back, I can see God’s hand working in every moment leading up to, during, and after that day. I remember standing in the registration cubicle at St. Jude, late at night, after a very scary four-hour ambulance ride and numbly answering all of those annoying hospital questions. I remember the stillness of that night. I was the only one in the registration part of the hospital. I remember the lady that asked me all of the questions. I remember her smile and look of compassion on her face as I asked her to repeat the question again. My baby was just admitted into the ICU step down floor of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. Words like cancer were thrown around just hours before in his pediatrician’s office, but nothing was confirmed. That’s why we were there. I still held onto the belief that this was just a nightmare and that the tests were going to say that it was a mistake. It was just viral pneumonia that caused his labs to be off. I remember focusing on the lady’s name tag, and the strangest thought popped into my head: remember everything about this moment, this moment when everything changes. You’ll want to remember it for later – to write about later.
I remember her handing me the papers, and how my eyes drifted to the first line that read Leukemia service. I wanted to immediately hand them back to her, tell her that she made a mistake. My son didn’t have Leukemia, we were just here for a test. It was in that moment that I realized that everyone already knew that it was Leukemia. I was just a little late to realize that. The lady hugged me, and I didn’t look at those papers again.
This type of forced change (for lack of a better word) like the way Leukemia changed our lives, is not something that I think I will ever get over. It has forever changed our lives, and years later, we will still look back at this and remember everything we had to go through, and how we had to watch our son go through treatment. I can, however, focus on the good that has come from this forced change. The first and most important being that Gabe is in Remission and is in the low-risk category for relapse. We still have a long way to go, but I take great comfort in these two facts.
The second is that I’m doing something that I always dreamed of doing since I was little. I’ve finished a novel, and I accepted a position as an Acquisition Editor! Two things that have always been my dream.
I started writing in middle school, and it’s been something that I have loved ever since I devoured my first Fear Street book. I’ve always been a reader and tested a college reading level by sixth grade, so I can’t remember exactly how old I was when I started reading those. The librarian at my school was awesome and let me read way above my grade level. Perhaps she was just excited that someone wanted to read.
Back in 2012, I went back to school to pursue a degree in Creative Writing/English and a minor in Psychology. I graduated in 2016, and since then started plotting my first YA novel. Prior to my writing workshops, I always considered myself a contemporary/chick lit writer, and that novel which got me into the program, is still not all the way finished. It was in my Intermediate writing workshop that we had to write a short story of an unlikely hero, someone that wasn’t always the hero or maybe who was the villain. I’ve always had an idea to write a supernatural trilogy, but always put it to the side. However, for the past few years, I’ve enjoyed reading YA fantasy, supernatural, and dystopian novels so I decided to try. What if two brothers, a demon and an angel, that was separated when Lucifer was kicked out of heaven had to work together to save a human girl’s life? What would that story look like? How could the demon be the unlikely hero, especially when we know that demons couldn’t be redeemed? I took those key questions and started writing the short story. I never expected that once it was finished that I would turn that story idea into a novel, or switch my genre completely, but I did.
After I graduated, I took that story idea, the edits from my professors, (I also wrote it as a screenplay) and set out to start my first YA Supernatural novel. After Gabe was diagnosed, I turned more to my blog as a way to deal with what was going on, but it wasn’t long before Jacob and I started plotting in the hospital inpatient room, cafeteria, and the waiting rooms. He helped me take that short story and expand it to a whole new world of possibilities.
Now six months later, the novel is finished and should come out after the first of the new year. I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am, or how proud I am of this story.
After today, I will start posting more about my novel, the characters, and important information. However, I wanted to give you a glimpse of what the novel is about:
The Seer, Book One of The Kalila Chronicles
Viktor has one order to follow:
Kill the girl before her eyes are opened.
For thousands of years, his job has been to torment and kill Seers: humans that have the gift of seeing the spiritual realm. So it was no surprise when his brother Matthias was sent to stop him and protect the girl.
Now, the last of the Seer’s bloodline hangs in the balance as the estranged demon and angel brothers are forced to work together to save a girl’s life and escape to the sanctuary city of Bethesda.