Identity

Have you ever felt like you were stuck? Your day-to-day activities that used to be exciting now have turned into routines? You could probably do them in your sleep if you needed to.  There’s no excitement, no spark, sometimes you look at yourself and go, what exactly did I  accomplish today? I know for me this has happened and it’s easy to fall into this, especially for me because I’m mostly spend my time at home with Daniel and Bella.  Don’t get me wrong, I totally love being able to stay home with my children, and that I get to spend the time with them before they head off to school.  But, (you knew it was coming didn’t you) at some points in my life, I have been stuck. All day and night I’m mommy, my routine is the same. Wake up and see Daniel off to school, try to straighten the house up before Bella is awake, get breakfast for her, watch cartoons, play, do more cleaning, laundry, get her down for a nap, go get Daniel from school, then it’s homework, dinner (which I must confess that it is either something very easy and fast or fast food, since I’m either at cake class or we are at church, family night, or some other activity). Then we get home late, I spend some time with Jacob, watching tv, talking or playing a computer game  and then it’s to bed and my day starts all over again.  Can anyone relate so far?

As a wife and mother we wear many different hats.  And I have a couple more hats to add to that list. I teach cake classes twice a week, I sell Mary Kay, a youth leader and I’m a writer.  I’m constantly switching hats and modes. I go from mommy mode, to wife mode, to teacher mode to a creative mode, (which sometimes I’m too exhausted to be creative, haha) I’m constantly identifying myself by which hat I’m wearing.  I’m mommy. I’m a wife to Jacob (which I have to say is pretty easy because he is so wonderful to me and I have to wonder sometimes if he sees me at the girl he fell in love with or mommy mode. lol) I’m a cake teacher, a skin care teacher, a youth leader, a writer.  I sometimes stop and go where is Erin?!

I’m the worlds worst at this, I will admit it.  I get so caught up in being everything to everyone that finally stop and have a crisis of oh my gosh, what I am doing with my life? I start to worry about all the things that I wanted to accomplish and my dreams of what type of career I would have and I’m constantly trying to figure out if I’m doing what God wants me to do.

I have heard this before, but just recently has God started to reveal this to me and I’m trying to do this. (I said trying, lol.)  But my identity is not what I do, but it is in Christ.  I am a wife and mother, I love it, I wouldn’t ever change it.  I can get caught up in the daily activities of being a wife and mom, but at the end of the day what matters is that I’m raising Godly children who are rooted in the Word, so that one day they will  choose to be lifelong followers of Christ.  My cake and mary kay job is a blessing, and in return, I need to be a blessing and show Jesus where ever I go, that someone may see me and my actions and will start to want what I have, want what makes me have so much joy.  Being a youth leader is a heavy responsiblity, but I wouldn’t change it, it’s what we are called to do.  It challenges us to grow  and learn and to live out what we teach.  I love to write.  It is my passion.  And for some reason, something that I have always pushed to the background.  I have such a hard time sitting aside time to just write. I can find so many other things that I have to do that I will say, I will do that later.  If my blog,  poems, children’s book, or my novel (that I’m still working on), if it touches just one person it’s so worth it.

I do not  have a Psalm Scripture, but this has been on my heart since late last night, and I felt like I needed to say it.  Don’t get caught up like I have.  Don’t look at what you do and let that identify who you are.  Yes, they can be great things, Godly things, but we who are we really?  We are fearfully and wonderfully made, we are a child of God. We have been bought with a price and we have died to sin and have been changed, we are a new creation in Christ, and we will one day be re-united with Him.  It’s now our job to go and tell others about Christ, so they to will have the opportunity to experience this life changing God.  How’s that for an identity?

Hugs,

Erin